Thursday, April 12, 2007
Me vs The Computer

My human spends a considerable amount of time staring at the computer screen and playing with strange items she calls a keyboard and mouse. Personally I don't see the appeal. These toys aren't chewable, they don't squeak nor do they taste good. The worst part is while my human is playing on her computer I get no attention at all! Shocking isn't it? I'm cute, playful, fun and energetic, the computer just sits there and I'm left to sit quietly at her feet or wander around the house.

Naturally, when I want attention I want it now! So what to do? Humm.. I'll lay quietly at her feet for awhile, maybe she'll get bored of the computer and play with me. Time passes, nope that didn't work. I'll try moaning and groaning awhile: "Oh I'm so bored, won't someone play with me?" More time passes, and she did look down and talk to me. I'm making progress.

Maybe if I fidget, wiggle and accidentally kick her chair a few times she'll get up and play with me. Once again I get little more than a glance and a few words in response. What does "you are pathetic" mean anyways?

That computer must have cast some type of spell over my human. I must save her from this nefarious machine.

I dash out of the office and search out a toy. The rope toy will do nicely. It's one of my favorite toys I'm sure my human will enjoy it as much as I do. I return and plop the toy down on her lap, rest my head on her leg and look up at her with the most endearing look of love I can muster. Oops a little drool got out.

Finally a response as she pets my head, grabs the toy and flings it over her shoulder. Yippee, we can play! I dash off and retrieve the toy only to find she's back to typing on the keyboard. I try giving her the toy again with the same result. Ok this means war. I'm the dog and I will be the center of attention if it's the last thing I do.

This time I drop the rope toy on the keyboard; that was a mistake. My human wasn't happy but she's getting up and carrying the toy. I may have won at last. All my hopes are quickly dashed as she puts the toy on a shelf and sits back down at the computer. After pondering on the situation for a few moments I decide to nudge the keyboard with my nose sliding it back under the desk but my human brought that brilliant plan to an end very quickly.

Next I'll lightly nudge her hand from the mouse repeatedly, when she returns to typing I'll nudge her elbow and prevent at least one arm from touching the keyboard. Finally I break the computers evil spell and she turns and pets me. I lay down on the ground as instructed and she rubs my tummy with her feet. Oh yaaaa. Sweet victory at last.

My adulation is cut short when the tummy rub stops and she is once again drawn in to the clutches of the computer. I lay there and stare at her in shock for a moment then decide to resume being a pest. If it worked once, it'll work again. I'm told repeatedly that "I need to work, to make money, to buy you food – I can't play now" and I still have no idea what all that means. Humans sure make a lot of noise but little sense.

Finally after hours of scheming, plotting and effort my human gets up from the computer and grabs my rope toy. She's ready to give me the attention I know I deserve. The only problem is, I'm tired now. That was a lot of work. I let her throw the toy and I retrieve it a few times before putting my toy away and flopping down on the cool kitchen floor for a nap. I don't know about the human but I sure work hard around here.

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